Helping you put vaginismus in the past, for good
A friend of mine with endometriosis, a comrade in the experience of pelvic pain, gave me advice that changed the game for me. Orgasming before penetration can help reduce pain. An orgasm can ensure that the muscles are more relaxed and in many cases, also that the body is more lubricated. Basically, the body is …
Before we ever talk about introducing penetration again through something like dilating, the emotional healing journey to find safety in your mind and body again is crucial… And so is rekindling intimate connection with yourself and with your partner! Adding fun, play and pleasure back into turn-on is a MUST! As part of rekindling that …
I clearly remember… As I went deeper and deeper down the slippery slope of pain, my desire for sexual acts diminished. I mean of course it would! Penetrative sex was at first impossible for me. When I tried to force it and push through the initial physical barrier, it became incredibly painful. Think a freshly …
You’ve probably read plenty about the vulva and vagina in the process of overcoming vaginismus… The ancient sex wisdom of Taoism confirms the intricate connection between the genitals and optimal functions of other organs and glands in the body. Creating harmony in these sacred areas of your body really is important in relieving tension and …
If you’re anything like me… You didn’t explore your body sexually very much during your life. For me… The times that I did engage in self-pleasure, I felt the need to rush this process. Like I was doing something unacceptable. Instead of surrendering into it, taking my time and approaching pleasure with the goal of …
What’s ironic is that for many of us… The very thing that has kept us safe in the world is the thing we NEED to set aside in order to enjoy penetrative sex. That’s right. We’ve grown up in the world where having control over our external circumstances is what has kept us SAFE. That …
“Have a glass of wine to loosen yourself up a bit?” These words were said to me by a doctor a few weeks before I turned 30. I’d been sexually active for 14 years and the truth is that sex was a mystery to me. I had had sex. Lots of sex. But for the …
Okay, you know how when you see something odd looking, you just have to try it? That’s how I feel about this bug-looking vibrator. But how is a vibrator even relevant in the journey past painful sex? You see.. Clitoral stimulation can exponentially speed up the re-wiring of the brain and help you transform pain …
Many thanks to Victor Yrigoyen for the illustrations. Check out his website and Instagram. “For many, the psychological impact of vaginismus can be even more agonizing than the physical pain. The stigma of “virginity,” combined with the lacking mention of vaginismus in public dialogue, society’s insistence that “men need sex,” and the social pressure on women to have …
I have to admit… I felt shame related to my sexuality pretty much my entire life ever since I could understand the concept. That’s why I rarely explored my own body and capacity for pleasure. And when I did, I felt grossed out to use my own fingers to touch my vulva… So I avoided …