You’re on the vaginismus journey.
You’ve been through thick and thin. You’ve decided to take action and undergo the necessary emotional healing and physical therapy in order to work up to having penetrative sex.
And you’ve made progress!
You’ve been able to gain partial control of your pelvic floor muscles and achieve some penetration.
In fact, you’ve been able to painlessly insert most dilators in your kit!
And now you can see the light at the end of the tunnel…
All that’s left is to make it to the final sizes of your dilators, try penetrative sex again and prove to yourself that you’ve gained full control of your pelvic floor muscles!
At this stage of the journey, I have a treat for you.
As you’ve now learned to manage the body response of vaginismus and to relax your pelvic floor muscles, you can take advantage of tools designed to help regain FULL control of your pelvic floor.
This is what has been missing on the vaginismus rollercoaster all along!
The tools I’m talking about are kegel exercisers!
Doing certain exercises (or even just walking around with these exercisers inside your vagina) can strengthen and tone your pelvic floor muscles.
This can help avoid any urine leakage and tighten up the vagina (say after pregnancy) to allow for better control of the muscles and more intense orgasms.
Increased control after years of not being able to control my pelvic floor muscles?
Sign me up!
I was especially attracted to the fact that…
The added control could allow for you being able to tighten up your pelvic muscles around your partner’s penis during penetration, creating a more interesting and pleasurable experience for him and for you.
The mere thought that I could be a BETTER lover was incredibly motivating, after not having been able to satisfy my partner with PIV (penis in vagina) sex as a result of dealing with vaginismus.
Since standard kegel exercises (and kegel exerciser balls) aim to strengthen the pelvic floor, they are NOT recommended if you have an over-active, or tight pelvic floor (as most vulva owners experiencing vaginismus do).
Meaning if you have vaginismus as of recently and your medical professional recommended that you use kegel balls, don’t listen to him/her!
ONLY vulva owners with an under-active pelvic floor, that is overstretched, or weak (but not tight) are good candidates for kegel exercises.
So if you have vaginismus, these will be great for regaining control of your muscles and strengthening them, but only AFTER you have first fully relaxed the pelvic floor and released any active trigger points you might have.
That’s because by doing kegel exercises with a tight pelvic floor, you risk tightening it further!
Only after your pelvic floor is no longer tight, it becomes time to strengthen it.
Thankfully for me, at the point I discovered kegel ball exercisers, I was well on my way to being able to achieve penetration.
So it was quite timely that I found a tool to add to my toolbox of pleasure and with the appropriate relaxation exercises still in full swing, I could also begin to insert these balls instead of my dilators.
Little did I know…
Aside from using this control during intercourse, having the kegel balls in was pleasurable in itself!
Strengthening that pelvic floor was surprisingly satisfying!
A kegel ball exerciser kit I use is the Fantasy For Her Kegel Trainer Set.
This is what I have to share about these kegel ball exercisers:
Number of Exercisers
This set comes with 3 exercisers.
It includes a wide range of sizes and weights, designed to level up from beginner to advanced within the same set.
This versatility isn’t something you see with all kegel ball exercisers!
This is THE most important attribute when it comes to kegel exerciser balls.
The weights of the Fantasy For Her Kegel Trainer Set are:
Ball 1: 1.75 oz
Ball 2: 2.75 oz
Ball 3: 4.0 oz
The reason you want gradually increasing weights in a kegel ball set is because the weight of the balls trigger your pelvic floor muscles to hold on.
If you actively contract and relax your pelvic floor while they’re in, this creates an even better workout and you get to practice controlling your pelvic floor movements both up (on contractions) and down (on relaxations).
All of this allows them to strengthen.
Also, a larger weight creates more of an intense resistance to the pelvic floor and this makes for a deeper massage as the ball sits there and rolls around with your body’s natural movement.
Some kegel ball exercisers come with a sleeve in which you can insert either 1 or 2 balls, in whichever weight combination you wish.
The Fantasy For Her Kegel Trainer Set doesn’t come with a sleeve.
Instead, each ball is already configured exactly as it is meant to be inserted through the vaginal canal.
This means there is less versatility with the total amount of weight you choose to insert (since you can’t mix and match multiple balls of different weights).
At the same time, your choices are fewer and so using this set becomes a quite a bit easier!
Configuration (Retrieval String)
Each ball in this set also has a retrieval string made of stretchy silicone that I found to sit quite comfortably when I had clothes on.
I think a handle serves as a HUGE help in taking out the kegel balls, instead of having to get them out with your fingers.
Think tampons with a string to pull out versus no string.
In fact, reaching into my vagina with my fingers has never really been something I’ve done.
That tendency comes with vaginismus I guess. For example…
In my vaginismus days, after I learned to insert tampons, I never inserted one without an applicator.
I could only imagine taking out a kegel exerciser ball that doesn’t have a string to pull on would be more difficult.
I tried such a kegel balls set and wrote all about it here!
Here are the sizes of the Fantasy For Her Kegel Trainer Set:
Ball 1, 2 and 3: 7.25″ length x 1.1″ diameter
I haven’t yet ran into a set in which the balls were either too small to be ineffective for strengthening of the pelvic floor, or too large to be uncomfortable. It’s truly the weights of the balls (and HOW you use them), rather than their size that create that workout.
The exerciser balls are made of silicone that is latex and phthalate free.
The Fantasy For Her Kegel Trainer Set rocks a pink. lavender and purple colour combination, with the lightest colour being the lightest weight.
I found these balls to be wonderful for the purpose of pelvic floor exercises AND pretty good as a pleasure partner.
The sensation of the balls rolling around once they’re in your vagina is what creates this pleasurable sensation.
Some other kegel exercisers, like the Je Joue Ami Silicone Kegel Balls, have an inner marble within each exerciser ball, which rolls around and creates an ADDITIONAL interesting pleasant sensation, almost like a gentle vibration.
It feels like the ball gently and seductively caresses your inner vaginal wall.
Since the Fantasy For Her Kegel Trainer Set doesn’t have this inner marble, for me they weren’t AS pleasurable as some other sets in the sense of the rolling sensation.
HOWEVER, the Fantasy For Her Kegel Trainer Set did give me a pleasant feeling of fullness.
I think this is largely due to the shape of the trainers as the oval shape mimics the shape of the vaginal canal (and the penis), more so than kegel exerciser sets that have a circular ball shape.
Price (in USD)
The price for this set is $39, which is in the mid price range for kegel exerciser balls.
Also, I’ve partnered with Betty’s Toy Box to provide you with a 10% discount! Just use code KATRINWITHLOVE at checkout.
Would you be curious to try the Fantasy For Her Kegel Trainer Set when your pelvic floor is nice and relaxed and ready for some strengthening?
Glad to hear it!
To help you find the perfect set for you, I’ve been sure to do my research thoroughly and objectively.
You can read about my reviews of other kegel exerciser balls here:
Je Joue Ami Kegel Exerciser Balls
Luxe Double O Beginner Kegel Balls (these don’t have a retrieval string!)
Fifty Shades of Grey Beyond Aroused Kegel Balls – COMING SOON
G Balls 2 Kegel Balls – COMING SOON (these are vibrating and come with an app!)
Please comment below with your story, thoughts, questions or objections about anything I shared!
Also, I want to congratulate you for committing to your healing journey by doing your research and reading this!
Starting is the hardest step and that means you’re well on your path to healing! Celebrate that fact today! How about a relaxing massage?
If you haven’t gotten your hands on this goodie yet, get “11 Tips From Vulva Owners: What Helped Them Overcome Vaginismus”.
And get my book, “Vaginismus: Breaking The Cycle Of Pain” for FREE now (just pay shipping so I can get it delivered to your door)!
To your pelvic floor control!
– Katrin, with Love