I looked at Katrin’s Instagram page from a distance for a few months, eventually managing to build up the courage to book a free consultation, only to cancel it again within a few days.
The moment that I knew it was absolutely within my destiny to meet Katrin came not long later, in the form of a dream. This dream was so clear it was almost as if it was happening in real life. I dreamt that I met Katrin at a house, I could feel her warm mannerisms and energy within the dream. We were exchanging notes, engaging in deep conversation about my journey. I was in a beautiful wide open space in a house, the day was bright and sunny outside. I woke to the realisation that my own subconscious was leading me towards Katrin. I signed up the very next day to a 1-on-1 4 month journey – for me, I knew I needed a mentor in the form of Katrin to guide me through each step of the way.
I am almost at the end of my 4 month journey, and I have left every single call with Katrin with my jaw on the floor in shock at what I have been able to do with her unwavering support.
The best part of this whole journey has been Katrin’s holistic approach – so much has been focused around healing and nurturing my soul, which was exactly what I never knew I needed.
For me, the deep emotional healing part of the program was absolutely key to help me overcome this hurdle of vaginismus. Through methods employed on the program, I have been able to expose deep rooted emotional trauma and have been able to cleanse the negative feelings associated, so that no longer are those memories holding me back – now they serve merely as information in my mind of a time that no longer causes me any pain.
Through subconscious programming, I have been nursed back to health, physically. I suffered many strange ailments all at once (fatigue during the day, insomnia, sleep paralysis, mood swings, slight liver inflammation) and the doctors could not explain what was happening, and I almost refused to believe it had its root in my mental state. But it absolutely did – I never would have known this without Katrin introducing this incredible method to me. Following our session, I started to recover so fast, I could not believe it. After 2 months of feeling this way, I was back to normal health in 2 weeks. For that, I can only ever be eternally grateful.
I could never have imagined that signing up to a program related to vaginismus could have helped me on such a profound level.
From this emotional healing I have been able to deal with the physical aspects of this journey much quicker – dilator progression, relaxing my pelvic floor muscles – all of this came as a result of getting to the root cause, which for me was buried into my subconscious.
I started this journey with one aim – have PIV sex. I’m ending this 4 month journey very differently. That for me is no longer the clear cut goal – it’s something that will definitely happen in the near future, but of its own will, now that so much emotional cleansing has been done. The goal now? Many will cringe, (but I’m okay with not being ‘cool’) – to unconditionally love myself. To love how I feel at any moment in time, to forgive myself, to honour myself, to love my body and how it looks at different points in my life, and finally to accept that this is a journey I was meant to be on. Is it an easy card to be dealt? No. Have I gained so much more than I could have ever have imagined as a result of being on this journey and meeting Katrin. Hell, yes.
For example, I have healed some of what I’ve felt about being born as a woman – I’ve started to ENJOY my period!
This was after feeling disgusted by it for so many years. I started my period so early at 10 years old, and doing so meant I didn’t understand at all what was happening – it led to a frenzied mother putting toilet paper on my knickers and taking me home (I was at my sisters house) to sit in the bath. I felt confused and scared during the whole experience, and it actually stopped me having baths on my period for 10 years and following that. But I no longer feel like this – if anything, when the period cramps start to come, I am almost relieved – it’s almost like a sign from life telling me each month ‘it’s now time to slow down for a few days and it’s okay to do that. Have some chocolate and enjoy yourself.’ It’s an excuse to get into my PJs, wrap myself into a fluffy blanket and have a nice cry. A time to be with my body.
When I bleed, I am amazed at how the human body knows what to do each month, a visual reminder of the beautiful feminine body and its incredible ability to be in sync, all on its own. And if I leak, I don’t freak out anymore. It’s natural, and it’s out of my own beautiful body, and that really is amazing. I also now LOVE having baths on my period – it’s the first thing I do, it’s so soothing and calming, and relaxes me entirely. (I hope you too can find comfort in something during your period to remind you of the beautiful, blessed human that you are.)
My life has changed astronomically in the last 4 months, and I am so thankful to Katrin for this.
Even thousands of miles away in distance, I have connected with Katrin in a way that I haven’t even connected with very close people in my life. Because of that connection, I have been able to put absolute trust into Katrin, and boy am I glad that I did. At the end of the day, we are all connected in a higher state of consciousness that we can’t truly comprehend, any form of geographical distance can’t stop that from happening.
Katrin has taught me the importance of a quote I once read – that we are human beings, not human doings.
I hope that one day, you have the pleasure of connecting with Katrin’s energy, too, as I thank the universe that I had that dream.