Katrin with Love
Helping you put vaginismus in the past, for good
Work With Me 1-on-1
Relax Into Your Transformation With Me By Your Side
Oh the magic that can happen during 4 months together
I wish I had someone to call back in the day. Someone who would ACTUALLY understand. 

I'd love to be that person for you.

To help accelerate and ease your path to the limitless and pleasurable sex life that you've always dreamed of!

Or as is often the case, an even better sex life than you imagined!

We'll have 8 one-and-a half-hour video calls together (one call every 2 weeks) and I'll be there for you with support over email WHENEVER you need it. 

The journey will focus on healing of the mind, body and spirit, a holistic approach. During calls, we'll engage in various practices that prioritize your mental and emotional well-being, the foundation of an effective physical healing journey. We'll also be infusing an exploration of pleasure, a portion of the adventure that is often overlooked by traditional medical methodologies.

Together, we will use subconscious belief change processes to begin to erase the cumulative effects of life-long programming on a subconscious level of mind. We will also engage in exercises to release deep tension and trauma stored in your body's musculature and fascia.

In between calls, I'll provide you with step-by-step home play activities to help you make consistent steps forward in your journey. These include emotional healing practices, pelvic floor relaxation exercises, games to rekindle intimate connection with yourself and others, as well as in-depth guidance so that you can have success with dilating once and for all. All so that you can find a deep sense of safety, relaxation and pleasure in your body.

You'll also get a digital planner customized to your pain free and intimate adventure - so you easily track your progress, prioritize your well-being, stay motivated and celebrate your wins!

Ooh and you'll get a gift from me! Because you deserve it.

Armed with my love during 4 months together, anytime email support, home play activities and your very own digital planner...

You'll be BEST equipped to put vaginismus in your past! For good!
Value: Priceless
Working With Me 1-on-1 For 4 Months Is $4,444
I'm ready to start now! Why a consultation?
Your comfort and trust are my top priority, especially with this intimate topic.

I'd love to get to know you and your story first, and answer any questions you may have. So we can know with absolute certainty if we are a good fit and so that you can pick the best suited structure of support for YOU. Whether that is a 1-on-1, group, or self-paced online course adventure.

If my form of continued support doesn't resonate for you, I still trust that our conversation will have been valuable AND I can guide you to another resource that may be helpful in your particular situation.
The Blended Group And 1-on-1 Experience
What are the differences in the blended journey?
The structure is the same as above, except that we'll have most of our calls together in a group format.

Instead of having 8 one-and-a half-hour video calls 1-on-1 together, we'll have 8 TWO-hour video calls together as a GROUP (one call every 2 weeks).

They will be scheduled to take into account everybody's availabilities, so that you have a chance to attend hopefully the majority of the calls live. And for any that you aren't able to attend live, you'll receive a recording.

We will also have a one-and-a-half-hour call 1-on-1 together in which you get to the benefit from the subconscious healing that can only be done 1-on-1. This is a critical piece of the emotional healing journey and hence I've made sure that you get this value as part of the group adventure!

Both the 1-on-1 and group journeys are incredible.

Going through the healing 1-on-1 DOES allow us to go deeper with the aspects of your experience of life that are most relevant to YOU. And still, the group experience provides a layer of belonging and deep healing which is only available through community. 

Our group calls (and private group chat) create an irreplaceable sisterhood from over the world, to celebrate life's future milestones with!
Value: Priceless
The Blended Group And 1-on-1 Experience For 4 Months Is $2,222
The Next Journey Starts In November 2021!
Join Us Before October 25th And Get A $555 Discount - Only $1,777
Having Katrin by my side to support and guide me has been life altering, and if there is anything I wish for others with vaginismus, it's to go ahead on this journey with Katrin
I am 33 years old and have had vaginismus for as long as I can remember. 

I remember the first time I tried to have penetrative sex, it was literally impossible - I was 21 years old. 12 years have passed since that first experience and I continued to live my life with vaginismus telling myself that there was something wrong with me, as more experiences led to pain and frustration and feeling like I wasn't good enough. 

I was constantly hearing about how my friends were having great experiences, so I decided that it wasn't in the cards for me and that I was just "unlucky" or this is just my life. 

This led me to be closed off to a point that I just wasn't dating anymore or trying to date. If the opportunity came up, I took it, but feared it leading to PIV intercourse. I wanted to be intimate with people and things felt really good up until the actual intercourse part. 

If I was in relationships, it got to a point where we were unable to connect on an intimate level that was comfortable for the both of us, which was frustrating and heartbreaking and led to me becoming more closed off whether I realized it or not.

About 8 months ago my friend sent me Katrin's Instagram page saying that I might benefit from it, and also knowing that others are going through the same thing, which to be honest - it felt like I was the only one.

I started my one on one journey with Katrin a bit hesitant, but also excited, assuming I knew what was to come and feeling negatively at first, as I had told myself that I am unlucky. 

The program has been amazing. 

I didn't realize that so much emotional work took part in overcoming vaginismus. I had all the wrong information on dilators and how to use them. The program for me wasn't just steps to take, but it is heart and soul and there was a point where I couldn't believe how much release was happening in my body, emotionally and physically. 

A specific win I had was when I could put the 4th dilator in me without pain, this happened two months into the process - I am now on the second last dilator with ease. 

I also started to find myself more confident and okay with the unknown and rejection. I let go of control. I started to use my body and mind more, to meditate, stretch, exercise and am slowly getting in touch with all of the parts of me that I had shut down. I have always had a hard time crying and I find myself now more in touch with my emotions than ever and it feels good to not be hiding from myself anymore. 

Obviously this is a process and I am still learning, and when mine and Katrin's 4 months were coming to an end, I knew I wasn't ready to let that go. This has been a great support for me, and for that I am forever grateful as I continue to work with her. 

In a way it's hard to explain how I feel as vaginismus is so personal and you often feel so alone going through it. I think having Katrin by my side to support and guide me has been life altering, and if there is anything I wish for others with vaginismus, it's to go ahead on this journey with Katrin, who has overcome vaginismus, who will understand what you're going through and who can support you.

- Risha (33 years old, London, UK)
After years of trying, in just the second month of working with Katrin, I had been completely transformed and now I was going to be a mother
I was born and raised in a strict and religious home with African parents. 

Sex was never to be discussed, seen on TV, tried or even thought about. Sometimes I wondered how I was born, as I did not believe my parents had sex since it was such a taboo. Even though I had 4 other siblings and I was the last born. 

My parents greatest fear was that I would get pregnant and ruin all the chances that I would have in life or that my life would end like many girls that were in my community - hence the strict upbringing. I promised my mother that I would not have sex until I had finished my higher education, bought myself a car, a house, then gotten married. Failure was not an option and pregnancy meant failure.

So, with my go getter attitude, I focused on school, brushed off advances from boys and made sure I made it to the dream. I left home for the U.S. to further my studies and even then, with the new found freedom from my parents I never veered from the promise. School, car, house, get married. In college I did have 2 or 3 boyfriends but it was never serious we would play around and cuddle but penetration was always off the table and I let them know beforehand. Those relationships never lasted long. 

It wasn’t until I graduated and started working that I met my now husband. He was raised in an African home as well and was a Christian just like me and so we agreed we would wait till marriage to have sex. We dated for 5 years before we got married and during this time, we had different types of sex (that I now know was forms of sex that do not include PIV) and that’s how we kept our relationship going. We were also busy with grad school and work so PIV sex was not something we would think of as we were both waiting for marriage.

In 2018, we got married and went on honeymoon and the night I had been waiting for was here at last. BUT alas! Nothing happened. My husband could not get through my vagina and he said it felt like I had a wall up. I thought maybe it was nerves I suggested we try again the next day. Nothing! Same thing as before but this time, I felt a sharp burning pain and I had to let him know to stop. I was traumatized. 

We got back from the honeymoon and immediately started to research on why this was happening to me. My husband actually found a website that was talking about vaginismus. I read over the symptoms and I told him. This is it!! This is exactly how it feels like. I was excited to put words into it and define it. Things started to make sense such as not being able to put a tampon when I was younger, not being able to have a pelvic exam and now no PIV sex.

My go-getter attitude kicked in and I was determined to overcome this issue. I was 31 years and wanted to start a family. I had to overcome vaginismus. I ordered a dilator set from the website my husband had just found and it came with a book and 6 plastic dilators. I was excited! However, this did not last long as when I opened the dilator set, I was in shock. I was overwhelmed, how would I be able to insert these dilators in my vagina? The book's instructions made it sound so simple but no matter how hard I tried I could not even get the first dilator in. I started to lose hope and I remember crying in the bathroom and giving up and putting the dilator set back and never looking back. 

We focused on other things traveling, buying a house, hobbies and just ignored the unspoken fear lingering in our lives of never having sex. Two years passed and the pressure to have kids started to grow. People would call and say “you know, you’re not getting any younger”. I was now 33. They were right. I could not ignore the issue any longer. I opened my old plastic dilator set again and stared at it and said to myself, “There has got to be a way to do this."

I said a little prayer, went online, opened Instagram and searched for vaginismus. I will have you know I chose Instagram because I believed I had exhausted all resources on Google that could help with vaginismus. I needed something new. AND that’s when I discovered Katrin on Instagram @pain.free.and.intimate. 

She had personally overcome vaginismus herself. This is exactly what I needed a personal account of someone who had gone through it and overcome it. There was more!! They were many more like me and they too had overcome vaginismus. I was no longer alone. This was everything I had hoped and prayed for and more. I applied for her book which she gives out for free and read through her entire website maybe in a week. I was excited. The book arrived quickly and after reading it there was no doubt in my mind that this is what I needed to do to overcome vaginismus. I booked an appointment with her for the 45 minute free consultation and that’s when I knew that I would overcome vaginismus.

I ended up signing up for the 1-on-1 with Katrin because I knew I could not do this alone. We started off with an emotional healing journey that was extremely helpful and one that I did not know I needed. We did some subconscious programming to work through what had happened to me since I was a child. I realized that the unhealthy relationship I had with sex and the fear of getting pregnant was the psychological trigger to my vaginismus and without healing this part you cannot really unlock the rest of your body to accept PIV sex. This was really the key for me. 

Katrin was amazing with working with me to create a new identity for myself that would embrace this new journey as a sexual goddess that I would love and come to enjoy. After all the emotional healing and learning new habits such as meditation, pelvic floor and trauma releasing exercises, I began to be comfortable in my own skin and was finally able to insert my first dilator after one month. I was ecstatic. A week later I was on my second dilator. This was huge for me.

I would like to note as well that I did see a gynaecologist before my first session with Katrin as I wanted to be sure of my vaginismus diagnosis. She recommended a pelvic floor therapist and I let Katrin know and she was super encouraging for me to work with the pelvic floor therapist. She would do some physical massaging of my pelvic floor muscles which she confirmed were unusually tight and we would do some internal deep vagina massage. All this was possible as I was working with Katrin and she would encourage me to do my dilating practices and through her practical videos I would be able to manage it. On one of the sessions with the pelvic floor therapist she was extremely impressed by my progress from every appointment which was every other week. She even recounted that my progress with her would take other patients months and I knew it was because I had done the work with Katrin - especially the emotional work which is extremely important in this journey.

In one of my sessions with Katrin, we did some more healing work and she asked me how I could show up as a sexual goddess and I let her know that I would love to initiate sex with my husband. With encouragement from her I did just that later that weekend and due to the comfortability and the work I had done with my husband I was able to feel safe and sexy and we attempted PIV without thinking about it. 

As a result, I was able to conceive that night and my dream of being a mother was realized and I am now pregnant!!! I could not believe it. After years of trying, in just the second month of working with Katrin, I had been completely transformed and now I was going to be a mother. I would like to mention that we did not go all the way as I was still in 2nd dilator size but the key was that there was no pain!!! No fear!!! Just trust. And trusting my body. It was also incredibly helpful for my husband to be a part of this journey and he now understands how to support me and that made all the difference. I am so proud of the journey I have made so far. I am still a student of Katrin’s and now on my 3rd dilator set but I am sure everything I have learned so far will last me a lifetime. 

I would wish that everyone did not wait 2 years of hopelessness waiting for something to happen. If you want to overcome vaginismus, DO NOT DO IT ALONE. Katrin has a community of women ready to share their wins and victories that would get you back on your journey too. 

Katrin has been a shining light on the journey and with her calm but reassuring nature, she completely made me feel at ease from the first session with her. She incorporates her personal experience and expert opinions that make sure you don’t have to do any guesswork anymore. 

If you encounter challenges in your journey, she is an email away and will address them as soon as possible to put your mind at ease and know that you are not alone. Her well put together training plans make it so much easier to follow and made me look forward every day to learning something new. 

I am forever grateful that my path crossed with hers and truly believe she was my answered prayer.

- Grace (33 years old, California, USA)
Your life has been a minefield...

One explosion after another... 

Some days, you lay in bed for hours running through it all in your head - lost in the darkness of your thoughts.

Asking yourself "WHYYY ME *insert swear words here*?!". 

"What did I do wrong?"

For me...
It seemed like everyone around me was living their best life, and here I was... STUCK. CONFUSED.

It just wasn’t FAIR! In the beginning, I was sad...

Then angry.

I didn’t feel like I deserved the pain at first.

Later, my inner conversation included, "What if I DO deserve to be miserable?” I started by looking for answers all over the place.

Then I began wondering whether my pain really WAS in my head, like my doctor alluded to.

I don’t know if you’ll believe me, but I hope you do...

Your pain is NOT in your head.

It’s real.

And what’s ALSO real is that you CAN get through vaginismus.  Many brave vulva owners like you have done it. The path ahead of you has already been walked!
Now, you can have a choice - to follow in the footsteps of others.. or to remain where you are.

And no one choice is superior than the other. 

I believe that you will take action only when you're ready. And whenever you are ready is the PERFECT time for you.

If and when you feel up for the journey forward, I want you to know that there are people who understand.

Unfortunately your loving family and friends can't relate to you fully... 

They just haven’t experienced the excruciating pain, both physical and emotional! But there ARE people who understand.

So the first step is simply to explore what the path forward has looked like for others. 

And for that, I’m here to share my story.

Or just serve as an ear to listen to yours, IF you'd like to share.
I would absolutely love to help you overcome vaginismus, like I did. 

So you can melt into the unconstrained possibilities of intimacy...

Cuddle after penetrative sex, with tears of JOY in your eyes!

And an overwhelming sense of peace.

So you can experience the pleasure that you WANT.

So you get to CHOOSE whether you have kids and how to conceive.

I’d love to help you get that choice back. 

That confidence.

Your true self.

So you can live your life according to your rules.

You have SO much life ahead of you! 

You are worthy of love!
You are worthy of everything that YOU desire - no limitations.

One day...

When you look back at all of this, it will seem like a distant memory. 

And you will be so proud of yourself that you stuck through the journey for long enough to come out on the other side!

I’m not saying it will be easy. 

I’m saying I know you’re capable.

So all that’s left for you to decide is if you’re willing!

Allow me to be your personal guide in your journey.
My Pain Free and Intimate Guarantee
My commitment to you is to provide immense value in our time together. 

If you're not totally satisfied with what you got for ANY reason, please send me an email at hello@katrinwithlove.com within 30 days of your investment. You'll get a full and courteous refund right away, no questions asked.
Katrin has become my mentor and friend. She’s my little light!
I was the first… one-on-one client that is. 

I had endometriosis, I had a hysterectomy, I had phantom pains, I had painful sex. I just had pain. After all of the previous situations I figured pain was the norm and always would be the norm.

One night, I was fussing around with the computer putting in some of my symptoms. I ran across the name vaginismus. At the same time, I saw Katrin’s picture. I was skeptical because I didn’t know what vaginismus was (I did read the info there) but you never know what you will get with a picture and a book. I was skeptical enough that I just shut my computer.

It was several, several, months later that I ran across Katrin and her book and her offer of a one-on-one consultation again.

This time I took a chance and bought the book for the shipping cost. The book was concise, informative, and a step-by-step guide on how to get help. With book was offered a 30 min consultation. I did talk to Katrin.

She was down to earth, kind, and just listened. She explained how she could help. If you chose not to do the one on one there are other ways to communicate. It’s just not as personalized as a one-on-one. Now don’t get me wrong, this was a decision to make. It was the best one I’ve made.

I’ve learned more about myself. Sexually and emotionally. I have gotten stuck along the way. She has been my biggest supporter and cheerleader. She has never let me fall.

In our 4 months together, I started believing in myself.

I found the confidence to have the conversation to put PIV sex off the table for as long as I felt I wanted to. I became more at peace with where I was at in my healing journey and more prepared to set boundaries. To be able to stand behind my preferences in life, sexually and otherwise.

To get to that point, I gave myself the permission to learn about what kind of intimacy I REALLY want. I began feeling excitement to explore touch in a whole new way! I made myself a priority and committed to a pleasure exploration challenge that Katrin set up for me and I WON!! I held my body in a way that I hadn’t before and I realized what kind of touch I‘ve been craving! What my erotic language really is.

Whereas before I was hesitant about using something like a vibrator, now the thought of having a little collection makes me happy! Using toys in my pleasure exploration is now something enticing, and I’ve even treated myself to some erotica! Now I get to comfortably and shamelessly enjoy the sensations of my body and I don’t feel like I need to push through pain.

You know, someone once said that I was a cold fish in bed and of course I was - the anxiety and pain had me feeling paralyzed and stuck!

Even though I’m not having partnered penetrative sex yet (and don’t have a partner to try it with), I’ve now shifted the anxiety I was feeling about my sexuality into more of a sense of adventure. Still, during this journey I experienced non-penetrative sex with a partner and felt like without the expectation of going all the way, I could allow myself to surrender to the masculine and have fun with it! Even though I had too often been overpowered by men sexually before, I now know that I set the rules and get to celebrate my sexual energy with a partner, however it likes to be expressed. Also knowing that no man can make me do something I don’t want to!

Though I used to be depressed about my body, I also learned about my vulva and vagina in a way that is loving and complete, without judgement. I started to understand and accept her and see myself as a sexy and confident woman who knows her worth and stands for what she wants.

I’ve more or less taken “I don’t know” out of my vocabulary, realizing that I DO know what I want and I’m not afraid to say it. In that process, I cut off a really long-term friends-with-benefits relationship and gave the option to my more recent friends-with-benefits relationship simply friends, NO benefits. That was a brave move that I’m really proud of. I had felt the negative impact of these relationships on my mental health for a long time and finally made my well-being a priority.

What’s more is that I found more peace within myself and I realized that I love my body overall (and can therefore expect others to respect and love of my body too). One thing I said to Katrin was, “Do you know how to look in a mirror and not see yourself? Well, that’s how I see myself.” At the start of our work together, I found myself wanting to say “I love you” to myself in the mirror only in a joking way. And THEN I got the first normal and meaningful “I love you” on a Thursday and I’ve been able to do it ever since.

As for the past, I’ve remembered and have been able to face some deep emotional pain. I’ve been well on my way to be able to forgive people in my life who have hurt me. There’s been a deeper understanding of where some of my anger with the masculine has come from and I’ve been able to untangle a lot of that so I can approach relationships from a fresh perspective.

Even though I haven’t had a long-term romantic partner during my time with Katrin, I have the confidence now that I’m going to attract a loving partner in my life, who gives me the love and respect I deserve. 

Because a relationship CAN be fun and easy and I get to have one of those!

Yes, the journey used to be overwhelming, daunting and more than a little bit scary… But now it seems the more you learn, the more questions you have and it becomes quite exciting!

That’s why by choice, I have continued to work with Katrin past our 4 months. The longer I work with her the more confident I become in more areas of my life. I’m even more resilient altogether. After a LONG job search, I landed a job that I really like and said goodbye to the one that was super tiring, both physically and emotionally. And that was HUGE for me!

AND most recently, I had my first pain-free pelvic exam EVER!! I didn’t even hold my stomach or tighten up like I used to. So that gives me peace that amazing things are ahead for me…

Overall, Katrin has become my mentor and friend. She’s my little light!

- Kristi (49 years old, Franklin, USA)
Thank you Katrin from the bottom of my heart for giving me the hope and strength to believe in myself, to stay patient and to truly listen to my body!
I always had the feeling that I am late in my life. 

I was one of the last girls who got their period, my body started to grow when everybody else was already dressed up "girly" and sexy. I had the impression that I was quite invisible for the majority of boys. My school classes were most of the time girls-only and with my hobbies (riding and dancing) I also hadn‘t much contact with boys in my free time. 

So the subject of intercourse was never current for me. I never used tampons because I didn‘t like the feeling and to be honest wasn‘t able to insert them. 

When I got my first boyfriend in the beginning of this year, of course the topic intimacy suddenly appeared. I really enjoyed my first experiences but was also a little overwhelmed. He had already had two relationships and of course intercourse - the majority of people around me weren’t virgins anymore and I felt the pressure to "finally" do it too. Even some of my closer people couldn‘t understand why I was waiting so long and why I didn‘t "just do it", didn‘t I love him? Or didn‘t he desire me? 

But I had the feeling that my body "closed" even with just the thought about sex. I had so much fear of pain and that it would not be possible to have penetrative sex in general. 

My personal early attempts to insert a finger alone at home have also been a... longer journey. First, it was nearly impossible, but with a lot of patience it worked but was not pleasurable at all - it sometimes felt so tight that I had the feeling a little knife entered me (a feeling which didn't encourage or increase my wish for sex of course). 

I was quite desperate, nobody seemed to have these problems. My closest friends listened to me and tried to encourage me, but didn‘t really understand and also didn‘t know how to help me. I felt like a weirdo. Sometimes I doubt myself: Was I just too "hysteric"?

I talked to my boyfriend about my fears and I am so grateful that he is supportive and patient. He didn’t put pressure on me and I could totally go at my speed. But inside of me my inner voice was asking: "Am I worth for him? How long will he wait and stay patient? What, if I can’t handle the problem fast enough, and his sex drive is so unsatisfied... Will he leave me? Will I lose my sex drive (which was luckily still there) when I have several frustrating experiences? Will he lose his desire for me when he must always "stop" himself? Am I ever able to have other relationships?"

I realized I couldn’t handle all these thoughts alone anymore and I did long research on the internet. But the result was, to be honest, not very satisfying. I was lucky when vaginismus was at least mentioned in some medical pages, but most of the articles were really brief and only described the symptoms and no help.

On Instagram I finally found some blogs where people with vaginismus told their stories. @pain.free.and.intimate was the page which I liked the most. Some of the other pages, to be honest, increased my fear because they were struggling, too and their description of their negative and fearful emotions in this vaginismus journey or posts about their unsuccessful attempts reminded me of my biggest fears.

Katrin, who has already successfully overcome vaginismus, gave me hope and reminded me with her posts, that with work on myself, everything is possible. She also talks about negative experiences, but in a more optimistic way. She emphasizes the aspect of emotional healing and presents plenty of physical AND psychical methods to deal with vaginismus that I heard for the first time and found very interesting. 

I decided to write her a direct message. She replied only a few hours later and really took so much time to answer all my questions, gave my plenty of advice, motivated me and celebrated my little successes. I was so glad to finally talk to someone who truly understands and had an open ear, didn't judge me or gave me the feeling to overreact. 

During our chatting, I began to think about potential reasons why I could have vaginismus and how I can cope with it. When I visited my gynaecologist, I checked that there aren’t any anatomical issues (yeah great, but I didn‘t get any other suggestions than "just relaaax your pelvic floor, that‘s all").
 
I found out that my mental blockades have to be solved - in my daily life I am a very ambitious person, who feels safer when I have everything under my control. I often put myself under pressure (without wanting it), compare myself to others and sometimes have the feeling of not being enough. I also often have the expectation that I must make everything as perfect as I can, I wanted to be good in bed and didn’t want to disappoint my partner. 

So I began to listen more to my body. 

When do I get tense and why? Is it really necessary that I stress myself for so many little things? I started to work on my mindset, to be more generous to myself and to be okay with not doing everything perfectly. I recognized that I benefit extremely from relaxation techniques or just stretching exercises. I take the time for this now regularly - for example before I go to bed or also sometimes during the day, I have the feeling that it clears my mind and connects me more with my body (the signals of which I mostly ignored before because I was more focused on other things). Additionally, breathing deeply supported this process, too. 

Another fear was that I was very afraid of getting pregnant so I guess that I unconsciously associated my partners penis with danger and wanted to protect myself by "closing" my vagina. I solved this problem by taking birth control plus using condoms (even though we were just cuddling and kissing naked, but this helped me learn to feel safe and comfortable being this close to my partner). 

I am very happy that I recognized my "problem" so early, took it seriously and started to work on it, so I didn‘t rush and make any negative experiences with unsuccessful attempts with my partner and worsen the circle of fear and pain. I wanted to prepare myself until I feel ready. I learned to enjoy being intimate with my partner (a completely new experience for me) and feeling trust and also pleasure without having penetrative sex. 

At home, I practiced with my finger and got to know my body better, explored where is what, inside my vagina haha. And there was progress! I got more and more used to finding the right angle for inserting a finger and felt more familiar with my body. After a while, I also experienced a kind of pleasure and tried to carefully guide my partners finger. 

But there were moments of frustration too, when everything suddenly felt tighter and that all progress I had made was gone. It was really hard for me to stay calm, I worried a lot and there where many tears on my pillow... But I said to myself that I have to give my body time, some days are better and others don‘t, I have to trust my body that it will be possible some day, that I mustn‘t work against my body but with it. I also found the method of trigger point release very helpful. I didn‘t use dilators, only my fingers, but I planned probably to buy some soon. 

Aaaand....

Yesterday, it happened! I had my first time PIV!! 

I didn‘t plan it (which was good I think), I just had the feeling in the moment that we could try it now. It didn‘t work the first attempt, but my partner calmed me and we just tried it after a while again, very slowly and carefully. And it went in easier than I expected! 

I was so proud and happy. I think I will still need time to fully relax, get used to it and have more varied penetrative sex, but inserting the penis was such a big step for me and I am so so happy that I was patient enough to wait for the right moment and that I listened to my body and thought "You can do it".

Vaginismus told me lessons of self-doubt, pain, frustration and desperation. But on the other side, it showed me to NOT stand my inner tension, my overthinking, my fears, but to change my behaviour.

I profited not only in my intimate but also in my personal life that I worked on myself and faced the problems. I realized that the most important thing is to love myself, to be in peace with myself and my body and to do it for me, and not because of the expectations of others. I learnt to recognize when tension or emotional stress is starting to rise in my body so I can already take steps in the beginning to prevent it from getting worse.

Thank you Katrin from the bottom of my heart for giving me the hope and strength to believe in myself, to stay patient and to truly listen to my body!

- Franka (20 years old, Cologne, Germany)
You Deserve It!
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